Ladybug Speaks the Truth

 Well, it's been a hot minute, hasn't it! Things have been mostly quiet while Asshole appeals a conviction that he received back in late 2023. The system is slow and takes forever. While the conviction is under publication ban, his appeal is not. However I will avoid saying much more than that, as I don't want to risk mixing up what is and isn't under publication ban. What I will say, is that given the number of convictions he has with me as the victim, that made him a repeat offender with the case that "concluded" in the fall of 2023. As part of the appeal in that case, Asshole's infinitely smart lawyer has decided to have Asshole appeal his guilty pleas in my cases. Yep, you heard that right! In 2020 and again in 2022 Asshole plead guilty to Criminal Harassment, breach of probation, etc. Plead guilty because he knew that he was guilty. Now, 4 years later, they are appealing those guilty please. If he does that, then my cases will be forced to go to trial...

 Asshole keeps posting about the smear campaign against him. He is really hung up on saying that there are six individuals with the initials RJJANE that are out to get him. He won't name names of course, because he knows that he is wrong, and in naming those six individuals, he will actually be violating various probation and release conditions set out by the courts. It got me thinking though, what exactly is a smear campaign? Oxford Languages Dictionary, which is the dictionary that Google relies on, states that it is a  "a plan to  discredit  a public figure by making false or  dubious   accusations ." Well, Asshole definitely is not a public figure, although he sure thinks that he is. In this blog, the letters from Asshole that I have posted, are letters that he wrote to me, so his own words, these are his claims and accusations. This must mean that he knows that his own words are full of lies? Is that what the smear campaign is? Me spreading his own bul...

  I have decided that this week, we are going to be focusing on words and definitions. Asshole has lots of big words that he likes to throw around, however he clearly has no clue what they actually mean. So, without further ado, let's begin Word of the Day Week here at Ladybug Speaks Truth. Obviously we need to kick off the week strong with Asshole's favourite word, Narcissist. Oxford Languages has this to say about narcissist: nar·cis·sist noun a person who has an excessive interest in or  admiration  of themselves. "narcissists who think the world revolves around them" Wikipedia has this to say about Narcissism: Narcissism  is a self-centered personality style characterized as having an excessive preoccupation with oneself and one's own needs, often at the expense of others. [1] [2] Narcissism exists on a continuum that ranges from normal to abnormal personality expression. [3]  While there exists  normal, healthy levels of narcissism  in humans, the...

  There are so many lies woven into Asshole's story that to this day, I still don't know what is fact or fiction. At first, they went almost unnoticed. A shimmer of doubt here or there that I wasn't able to confirm or deny. I am one of those people that believes that the past belongs in the past, so I didn't care much about what happened before. Just that going forward that things were honest and open. Asshole liked telling me about his job, and how important he was at work, and how much money he made, all trying to impress me. He had no understanding that money doesn't impress me. I grew up without money, and I have seen people lose everything in the blink of an eye, so there are more important things in my life. Early on in our relationship, sometime in April, as it was still tax season (and I do income taxes for a living) Asshole had been complaining about being on the phone that day with CRA. I was curious what he could be having issues with. As someone who deal...

  Asshole spent a considerable amount of time trying to Hoover me back in after the final discard. Things ended July 3, 2019. As of Summer 2021 he was still posting about me on his blog as the DLLOML. Of course, Summer 2021 he would be dating someone else too, so how serious was he about what he was writing about me. The lengths that Asshole went to Hoover me back in are well documented in this blog. Heck, the first what, hundred posts, are taken from the letters that he sent me trying to prove that he was a changed man. Asshole doesn't actually want to be in a relationship with anyone. He just wants someone (preferably with children) to manipulate and control. I don't even think that Asshole is really capable of love. He is just capable of saying the same script over and over again. It's a movie that he has written and just keeps recasting the leading lady.  Right now, Asshole is in the Hoovering stage with someone else. His Facebook posts are full of promises that will ne...

Ah, the discard phase. How many times did Asshole discard me, and then convince me to take him back? I can remember there being phone conversations where he would be so mad, and I would ask if he was breaking up with me, and he always said no, that is done in person, even if we have to meet at a McDonald's. For some reason he liked the idea of publicly breaking up with me at one. I don't know what happened to him in a past life at McDonald's but he sure hated the place. Ironically, Asshole usually discarded me over text message. Rarely in a phone conversation. He did it once over the Match.com email. Again when I tried setting up an appointment at his bank for the mortgage we were going to get. Another time over something with my kids. Each time I went camping during the time I knew him. I could go on and on. I remember once, being so completely stunned. It was surreal, it must have been the first time it happened. I didn't know if I was coming or going. I texted a frie...

When looking for an image for devalue the one above made me laugh. This is precisely what Asshole did. He spent my money, and whenever I started to grow and flourish, he cut me off at the base. Trying to come up with specific examples of Asshole devaluing me is a little harder. They aren't as obvious. He just slowly chips away at your ego and self esteem in a way you hardly realize.  One specific weekend, I had been away at camp. I had left my house on the Friday afternoon in a bit of a whirlwind. As a last minute packer, things were kinda everywhere. That was Sunday Me's problem to deal with, not Friday Me. When I came home Sunday, there was an insane amount of drama surrounding Asshole. I had basically neglected him all weekend, and how can we build a relationship, if I am not available to his every beck and call. Really, the root of the problem is that I was off having fun with my friends, and being that it was a female only organization, there was no way for him to wiggle h...

Things began slowly with Asshole. We talked for a couple of weeks before meeting. He often seemed disinterested, and I really didn't think we would ever actually meet. Once we did though, we hit it off right away, despite the obvious red flag about his teeth. (I have written about that  here.  ) Once we met in person, things progressed very quickly. I have written about how he manipulated my boundaries already. He loved to send gifts/flowers. I remember one particular Thursday or Friday. He alluded to something being sent to my office. Late in the day a delivery of tulips arrived. It was over the top, an entire armful of tulips. Like four bunches or more. I had to spread them all over my house when I was putting them in vases. It was insane. It also seemed like the most romantic grand gesture I had ever received. He said that he sent tulips because I was Dutch. That night he kept asking how my office mates reacted to the flowers. All three of them were married, and he wanted t...

  Now that I am on the other side of dating a narcissist, I have learned that there are four distinct steps to a relationship with a Narc. First up is the Idealize stage. This is more commonly known as love bombing. The part where they make you feel like the most important person in the world. They make all kinds of promises and grand gestures during this time. Asshole is great at this stage. When you are in this stage, you don't yet realize that they are a narcissist, and think that this is normal behaviour. Secondly is when they devalue you. This is when they make you feel like crap, and start gaslighting you. Everything is your fault, and the reason that the love bombing has stopped is because you don't deserve it. The Narc does quite a number on your mental health during this phase, and has you doing mental backflips to understand and justify what they are saying to you. You can't reconcile this person with the one you met a short while ago who made you think you were p...

 In the back pocket of The Manifesto was a birthday card for my oldest.  Totally logical that after a year, and the criminal harassment and other charges, I would be like, hey kiddo, a psychopath sent you a birthday card, here you go. Um, nope. Needless to say, I did not give this to Robbie.

  The above screenshot was sent to a friend, who sent it to me. Nothing like seeing a picture of Asshole in your email to remind you to get off the apps. This was taken back in February, when he was clearly active on the dating apps again, so I can only assume that his last relationship failed. Or did it... I dated Asshole from late March 2019 to very early July 2019. Sometime in May or June I received a pissed off text or call, I forget which, from Asshole. He was absolutely livid. In his emails that day, from the daily Match.com email that they send to people who are active on there, was a picture of my dating profile suggesting that he might be interested in me. As you can imagine, this caused a problem. We met on OKCupid. I set up profiles on both, and then realized it was the same guys on both apps, and decided to proceed with only OKCupid. Apparently I didn't delete Match. I had unsubscribed to their emails, etc long ago and forgotten about it. Asshole let me know that things...

 I have decided to start a new series, that I will be talking about from time to time. It's things that I have learned along the way, the hard way that would have prevented me from ending up meeting a monster like Asshole. The first and most important is to do a deep dive in the various internet search engines and social media. Asshole begged me not to Google him. Red flag number one. Here are some important places to search when you are doing some pre-screening before going to meet someone the first time: Google  - obviously! Try Googling their name and various combinations of their city, work, and even words like assault, criminal record, etc.  Facebook  (Instagram, etc) - Find their social media and see what they post. Someone going on and on about the narcissists and flying monkeys in their life screams trouble. In my experience, the person posting the memes is trying to deflect attention from what they are really doing. Also, if they keep posting the same 5 year...

  I forgot I took a screenshot of something Asshole posted online... Middle is a picture of me in the green and black dress that he fell in love with from my OKCupid profile. It's in the background of all of his well staged photos from the time when he was obsessed with manipulating me.  However, I want to talk about the outer two pictures... And Easter 2019. I originally wrote this for another blog, and you can find the original version  here. I had rules... As a single mom of three kids, I had rules and boundaries. One of which was no meeting my kids until Asshole spent a weekend at my place without them there, I spent a weekend at his place and we had to have been dating for a significant amount of time. Needless to say, Asshole is manipulative and rules 2 and 3 were broken. We had been dating about a month when Easter rolled around. Significant weekend in the Catholic and Anglican calendars. I assumed that we would be spending it apart and with our respective families...

Asshole has been talking lots on his social media about the smear campaign by the narcissists and flying monkeys to make him look bad and spread lies. The truth is, at least here, I am using his own posts, and writings to show just how bad his obsessive behaviour is, if you are the unwitting object of his affection. Case in point. The screenshot above is from Assholes Twitter. The post was made on Assholes birthday, which is also my ex-husband's birthday. On the surface, if you don't know any different, it just looks like a funny card from my current boyfriend to my ex-husband and father of my children, showing that we all have an amicable relationship. EXCEPT at the time this was posted, I hadn't seen Asshole in over a year! That's not normal! He refers to me as his beloved, except, he was on PROBATION after pleading GUILTY to charges that stem from him stalking me! He was literally forbidden from contacting me in any way, shape or form.  This blog is not a smear campa...

 **As always, the text in purple is from Google Docs converting an image to text.** Eric's Statement 1 March 12, 2020 Date People come into our lives for a reason. For me, it was unconditional love. My fiancée, Amanda Cuff (Verhoeven) and I had a miscommunication on July 3, 2019 which has set the situation before me today. I take responsibility for what I plead to and I apologizi sincerity for it Amanda is the reason I divorced my ex-wife, applied for an annulment, became a Roman Catholic, sold a house, and desired to start the dream life we had planned for us and our six children. We were to marry on January 6, 2020. My desire was and is to communicate with her and It is also to her I did not lie or attempt to reconcile our amazing her at all. Sadly, a mendacions, deceitful and jealous person, [Evin L. Getty] manipulated Amanda in this situation. No matter what, I am not angry at Amanda and have no intention to hurt her. She is and will always be the great Love of my life, and no-...

 **As always, the text in purple is from Google Docs converting an image to text.** Eric Osborne March 3 2020- My darling and beautiful fiancée, Amanda! This is going to be a long letter. I have just returned from Mass and Adoration. Father Bester's sermon was succinct about the Lord's Prayer. It made me think about you and our Lord's Prayer experience. However, Father Bester's message was something I think you would have liked. We also had to jump to attention for the prayers of the faithful. I have been thinking about a number of things, and well, I thought I would start putting them down on paper. I have decided that I am going to type it out, because it would just be more legible. I have tried organizing my thoughts into various categories. How this is going to find it's way into your hands, I still don't know at this point. That is something that I am praying and thinking about each day. I miss you so much. I absolutely love you. I guess I will dive right i...