Love Bombing

Things began slowly with Asshole. We talked for a couple of weeks before meeting. He often seemed disinterested, and I really didn't think we would ever actually meet. Once we did though, we hit it off right away, despite the obvious red flag about his teeth. (I have written about that here. )

Once we met in person, things progressed very quickly. I have written about how he manipulated my boundaries already. He loved to send gifts/flowers. I remember one particular Thursday or Friday. He alluded to something being sent to my office. Late in the day a delivery of tulips arrived. It was over the top, an entire armful of tulips. Like four bunches or more. I had to spread them all over my house when I was putting them in vases. It was insane. It also seemed like the most romantic grand gesture I had ever received. He said that he sent tulips because I was Dutch.

That night he kept asking how my office mates reacted to the flowers. All three of them were married, and he wanted to seem like he was better than their husband's sending flowers. I remember my receptionist being concerned. She wanted to make sure that he didn't know where I lived. I thought she was jealous. She saw the flowers for what they really were. I realize now, she even carried them to my office like they were a bomb.

He came to my house a day or two later, and brought MORE flowers with him. I was over run with flowers. 

After that, the gifts became few and far between. Don't get me wrong, I don't want/need gifts. But I remember thinking how odd it was that he sent SO MANY flowers in a 48 hour period, and then never again did I get flowers. 

When things ended for good with Asshole, he left lots of stuff at my house, including his tablet and computer. I had the login information for them, and went through them looking to make sure that there wasn't something else on there. In making sure that there was nothing illegal, I discovered emails where he was contacting people to take out short term loans. Loans of $50 to $100. Nothing large. I had no idea that was a thing. The timing of the emails, was the same day he sent the flowers to my office. No wonder he didn't send them again. He had to take out a loan from a loan shark just to send them the first time. It didn't look like he paid the guy back either, based on the emails I saw. Taking out a short term loan like that didn't jive with the six figure salary he claimed to have from Stratford Festival and the University of Toronto.