Ladybug Speaks the Truth

 Well, it's been a hot minute, hasn't it! Things have been mostly quiet while Asshole appeals a conviction that he received back in late 2023. The system is slow and takes forever. While the conviction is under publication ban, his appeal is not. However I will avoid saying much more than that, as I don't want to risk mixing up what is and isn't under publication ban. What I will say, is that given the number of convictions he has with me as the victim, that made him a repeat offender with the case that "concluded" in the fall of 2023. As part of the appeal in that case, Asshole's infinitely smart lawyer has decided to have Asshole appeal his guilty pleas in my cases. Yep, you heard that right! In 2020 and again in 2022 Asshole plead guilty to Criminal Harassment, breach of probation, etc. Plead guilty because he knew that he was guilty. Now, 4 years later, they are appealing those guilty please. If he does that, then my cases will be forced to go to trial...

 Once upon a time, math was simple. Math was math. Numbers where finite things that could not be turned into something else. As an accounting professional, numbers are my life. They are my jam. It is how I pay my bills and support my kids. I know my numbers inside and out. However, the Canadian justice system doesn't understand numbers. In Ontario we have something called "new math." If you are a parent of a certain age, raising kids these days, you have encountered new math. It is kinda like old math, but not quite. With new math, you have to use a different process, that causes you to jump through some mental hoops to get to the final answer. It's hard for me to explain, but I finally found the perfect example of how to explain Ontario new math. Hypothetical situation: If Mr. X is convicted of a crime and sentenced to 18 months less time served waiting for bail, his total sentence remaining ends up being 499 days. This is because Mr. X is credited with time in custo...

 It's been a long battle watching someone go through the process of laying charges against their rapist. In a nut shell, this is the process as I have understood it so far, in a generalized sense of things. Step 1 -  Trust someone enough to let them into your life, where they then take advantage of you, sexually assualt you and gaslight you about it not actually happeneing. Step 2 - Repeat the abuse a couple of more times, until you realize shit, that was not ok Step 3 - Get the courage to speak to police about what happened Step 4 - Police lay charges, rapist is arrested and held for bail Step 5 - Rapist will get bail, because it's Canada and the jails are full Step 6 - Multiple court dates over several months to exchange information, set dates for setting more dates, etc Step 7 - More than a year after the initial assault, finally go to trial. Except, this is Canada, and court time is limited, so the trial will be spread out over multiple, non-consecutive days, non-consecuti...

  It is a hard world that we live in to meet someone new and trust them. Online dating is the easiest place to meet someone, but also the scariest. As Dr. House says "It's a basic truth of the human condition, that everybody lies. The only variable is about what." I have recently learned about a government of Ontario website called ONe-Key . This resource is a place to access a multitude of services in Ontario, including Justice Services Online. What is Justice Services Online you ask. Well, it is a place for people to go and check information about their upcoming court dates. It is a fully searchable system for upcoming court dates. This means that you can't search closed cases here. With the information I had on July 3, 2019 (after Police gave me the information) I know now that if I had done a search on this site, I would have had that information in March 2019,and saved myself a lot of headaches. Setting up an account is easy, and once you do, you want the Justice...

Asshole claims to have learned a new term, douche canoe... It applies according to him to the narcissists and their flying monkeys, which of course is RJJANE.  Let's take Asshole's advice and look up the definition of Douche Canoe according to Urban Dictionary. Ah yes, there it is. Douche Canoe:    A Douche   Canoe   is an elongated version of a douchebag. Someone so full of themselves and narcissistic tendencies that are eerily   misplaced   considering they are jobless, live off women, cheat and are generally not able to be classified as anything but a douche   canoe . Well, I wonder if we know anyone who meets that definition? I am honestly shocked that his picture is not right beside the definition.

 Asshole keeps posting about the smear campaign against him. He is really hung up on saying that there are six individuals with the initials RJJANE that are out to get him. He won't name names of course, because he knows that he is wrong, and in naming those six individuals, he will actually be violating various probation and release conditions set out by the courts. It got me thinking though, what exactly is a smear campaign? Oxford Languages Dictionary, which is the dictionary that Google relies on, states that it is a  "a plan to  discredit  a public figure by making false or  dubious   accusations ." Well, Asshole definitely is not a public figure, although he sure thinks that he is. In this blog, the letters from Asshole that I have posted, are letters that he wrote to me, so his own words, these are his claims and accusations. This must mean that he knows that his own words are full of lies? Is that what the smear campaign is? Me spreading his own bul...

  There are so many lies woven into Asshole's story that to this day, I still don't know what is fact or fiction. At first, they went almost unnoticed. A shimmer of doubt here or there that I wasn't able to confirm or deny. I am one of those people that believes that the past belongs in the past, so I didn't care much about what happened before. Just that going forward that things were honest and open. Asshole liked telling me about his job, and how important he was at work, and how much money he made, all trying to impress me. He had no understanding that money doesn't impress me. I grew up without money, and I have seen people lose everything in the blink of an eye, so there are more important things in my life. Early on in our relationship, sometime in April, as it was still tax season (and I do income taxes for a living) Asshole had been complaining about being on the phone that day with CRA. I was curious what he could be having issues with. As someone who deal...

 I was searching for an email awhile ago, and in doing so, it dug up a bunch of emails that were sent to the officers who were investigating Asshole for the first round of charges that he plead guilty to.  They are a great insight into the kind of things that he used to post... Oh wait, he still does, he just changed who they are for. I bet if we looked, he even used this exact same meme recently for the current woman that he is mourning. It's also interesting to see the different selfies that he had posted of himself. I used to have a book called The Many Faces of Ernie... We could call this The Many Faces of Asshole. It also makes me laugh seeing how many "friends" he has on Facebook. He keeps that information private now. I wonder if it's because he has lost his friends as they see his constant complaining on there. I will be sharing more from the archives of what I sent the police back in 2019. There are lots from his blog that he has since deleted so that it can...

  While I was still sucked up in the love bubble of a fast-talking master manipulator, I agreed to marry him. Clearly, I completely lost my mind by that point and the entire world was sending a search party for my common sense. There was no ring, no token of affection, just promises of a future, that I was beginning to doubt could possibly exist.  During that short time of apparent happiness, we went shopping as a jumping off point for wedding planning. As far as wedding planning went, his priorities were completely bonkers. First, we needed to send out save the date cards (without having any venue booked, or me being divorced.) Then secondly, we needed to figure out what the groom was going to wear. You read that correctly dear reader, the groom needed to have his outfit long before there was a venue, confirmed date, anything else. Priority number two. So off to Stratford we go to visit the shops for the millionth time. It seemed that the groom to be could do nothing other ...

When looking for an image for devalue the one above made me laugh. This is precisely what Asshole did. He spent my money, and whenever I started to grow and flourish, he cut me off at the base. Trying to come up with specific examples of Asshole devaluing me is a little harder. They aren't as obvious. He just slowly chips away at your ego and self esteem in a way you hardly realize.  One specific weekend, I had been away at camp. I had left my house on the Friday afternoon in a bit of a whirlwind. As a last minute packer, things were kinda everywhere. That was Sunday Me's problem to deal with, not Friday Me. When I came home Sunday, there was an insane amount of drama surrounding Asshole. I had basically neglected him all weekend, and how can we build a relationship, if I am not available to his every beck and call. Really, the root of the problem is that I was off having fun with my friends, and being that it was a female only organization, there was no way for him to wiggle h...

Things began slowly with Asshole. We talked for a couple of weeks before meeting. He often seemed disinterested, and I really didn't think we would ever actually meet. Once we did though, we hit it off right away, despite the obvious red flag about his teeth. (I have written about that  here.  ) Once we met in person, things progressed very quickly. I have written about how he manipulated my boundaries already. He loved to send gifts/flowers. I remember one particular Thursday or Friday. He alluded to something being sent to my office. Late in the day a delivery of tulips arrived. It was over the top, an entire armful of tulips. Like four bunches or more. I had to spread them all over my house when I was putting them in vases. It was insane. It also seemed like the most romantic grand gesture I had ever received. He said that he sent tulips because I was Dutch. That night he kept asking how my office mates reacted to the flowers. All three of them were married, and he wanted t...

 In the back pocket of The Manifesto was a birthday card for my oldest.  Totally logical that after a year, and the criminal harassment and other charges, I would be like, hey kiddo, a psychopath sent you a birthday card, here you go. Um, nope. Needless to say, I did not give this to Robbie.

 I have decided to start a new series, that I will be talking about from time to time. It's things that I have learned along the way, the hard way that would have prevented me from ending up meeting a monster like Asshole. The first and most important is to do a deep dive in the various internet search engines and social media. Asshole begged me not to Google him. Red flag number one. Here are some important places to search when you are doing some pre-screening before going to meet someone the first time: Google  - obviously! Try Googling their name and various combinations of their city, work, and even words like assault, criminal record, etc.  Facebook  (Instagram, etc) - Find their social media and see what they post. Someone going on and on about the narcissists and flying monkeys in their life screams trouble. In my experience, the person posting the memes is trying to deflect attention from what they are really doing. Also, if they keep posting the same 5 year...

Asshole has been talking lots on his social media about the smear campaign by the narcissists and flying monkeys to make him look bad and spread lies. The truth is, at least here, I am using his own posts, and writings to show just how bad his obsessive behaviour is, if you are the unwitting object of his affection. Case in point. The screenshot above is from Assholes Twitter. The post was made on Assholes birthday, which is also my ex-husband's birthday. On the surface, if you don't know any different, it just looks like a funny card from my current boyfriend to my ex-husband and father of my children, showing that we all have an amicable relationship. EXCEPT at the time this was posted, I hadn't seen Asshole in over a year! That's not normal! He refers to me as his beloved, except, he was on PROBATION after pleading GUILTY to charges that stem from him stalking me! He was literally forbidden from contacting me in any way, shape or form.  This blog is not a smear campa...

 **As always, the text in purple is from Google Docs converting an image to text. Anything in black is my thoughts/interpretations.** Just when you think that we are finished with the Manifesto, we find some more goodies!  1. I met Amanda Ruth Cuff (née Verhoeven) almost a year ago. I never thought I would meet someone so special and fall in love after I initiated my divorce but I did. We fell in love very fast and we both said we had found the one wanted to spend the rest of our lives with. For me, I found the great love of my life. (All evidence I have seen suggests that he initiated the divorce AFTER I broke up with him, because he lied about not being divorced! ) 2. This whole matter began with a miscommunication of a number and the assumptions and misunderstandings arising from reading the draft affidavit of my divorce papers. I felt and I still believe it could/can be resolved because I have always believed and still believe that if we act like adults and talk, and not h...

 It's funny the things that I have seen, taken screenshots of, etc over the years of dealing with Asshole. Most of it I was never sure of when I would use it. When The Manifesto arrived, and went straight to police, I thought that would finally put an end to things. Except, it didn't entirely. Asshole still kept posting on the internet about me, and our life that he dreamed of. You see, Asshole learned very quickly, that the Crown would not prosecute charges that stem from things he posted on the internet. He was told not to do it, but no one would enforce it.  Therefore, after delivering the first Manifesto, he quickly got to work writing a second Manifesto. He posted pictures of it even! Since he didn't deliver it, no one cared to do anything about it. Thankfully, we only have the pictures below to look at, and hopefully the real thing has been long since forgotten and lost. I was reminded of The Manifesto's recently when I saw a very similar red book, with similar la...

  We live in interesting times with our justice system.  Most people do not realize that publication bans are put in place during certain types of trials. The justice system says it is to protect the victims. However, what happens when the victim does not want a publication ban?  Truth is, the ban stays in place. This is because the publication ban is really to protect the defendant. Oh, innocent until proven guilty you think. Yes, that makes sense. But wait, the ban stays in effect even after the trial ends, the defendant is found guilty and trotted off to jail!  In Canada, if you are the victim of a sex crime, the publication ban stays in effect even after the guilty person is sentenced. Unless, you as a victim put forth a petition, and it is approved. This means, that as a victim of sexual assault, if you speak out about what happened to you, and there is a publication ban in place, then you can be charged. Just for sharing what happened to you. For more informati...

 **As always, the text in purple is from Google Docs converting an image to text.** Eric's Statement 1 March 12, 2020 Date People come into our lives for a reason. For me, it was unconditional love. My fiancée, Amanda Cuff (Verhoeven) and I had a miscommunication on July 3, 2019 which has set the situation before me today. I take responsibility for what I plead to and I apologizi sincerity for it Amanda is the reason I divorced my ex-wife, applied for an annulment, became a Roman Catholic, sold a house, and desired to start the dream life we had planned for us and our six children. We were to marry on January 6, 2020. My desire was and is to communicate with her and It is also to her I did not lie or attempt to reconcile our amazing her at all. Sadly, a mendacions, deceitful and jealous person, [Evin L. Getty] manipulated Amanda in this situation. No matter what, I am not angry at Amanda and have no intention to hurt her. She is and will always be the great Love of my life, and no-...